What is Jesse?
You know how most of the personal websites created by the subject in question describe how great the author is, provide links to LinkedIn, social networks and who knows what?
Well this is not one of those websites. It was never requested by Jesse, he wasn’t informed of it. Yet it’s here.
I want to tell you how Jesse truly is. To me. To us. To probably himself, but that might be hidden deep inside him.
Jesse is a good friend. In fact, he is my best friend. You might be thinking “well that’s a low bar”, but let me explain...
I am somebody who values friendship a lot. I place it above almost everything and organize my life in a way that helps me spend more time with my friends. I don't have a lot of friends as I am usually very picky and unforgiving. At some point I lost my best friend and I started thinking that I will probably not find anybody else to have that title. Jesse changed that. The only time he has proven me wrong ;)
Jesse likes to win. That is his defining quality. He grows, because he wants to win. His worst enemy is himself, because you are not worthy. Nobody is. And he actually often wins (not as often as he makes it sound, though ;). Jesse is a true dunker. He is very good at a lot of the things. If you plan to compete with him – good luck, buddy. Jesse likes video games, board games and sports. He is only good at 2 out of those 3.
Jesse is strange. Like really strange. He would tell you that he doesn't care much about anything, but he does. He always says "actions speak louder than words", and then he would say to you "I don't care" and act like he does. E.g. he clearly misses his passed-away dog, "Buddy", a lot. But he pretends that he doesn't.
Jesse is self-aware. For the most part. This is a key quality in people for me. I can trust him in a lot of ways to know himself and what he wants and it creates a pleasant feeling of safety. Sometimes it's really funny, how not self-aware he could be, thought. Despite of what he tells you, he is a very emotional person. He tends to speak about himself as robotic and not very emotional, but that is not very self aware of him to say :P
Jesse is committed. I don't think I've ever felt this level of support. When he truly cares, his support and commitment is unprecedented. He would always listen, he is a good listener. He'll be there for you. I haven't realized up until recently how much I depend on this emotionally. I had to manage myself to rely on him less, because his support is so available. I realized it's so easy to have it, that I unintentionally started to abuse it.
Jesse is judgmental. Often in a very fun way. He likes to shit-talk about people and act arrogantly. Sometimes it results in funny stories (hi Noah), and often it's just fun to listen to him speak. Sometimes he is too judgemental and might try to impose his opinions on you.
Jesse is corporate. He doesn't like to be called that. Deep inside, he is actually not, but he is silly adult and feels like he has to be one. I think it's partially because...
Jesse is afraid to hurt people's feelings. To strange extents. E.g. telling a waiter in a restaurant that something is not perfect (e.g. maybe a glass is dirty) is really challenging for him. Or asking a person on a basketball court to put on a mask (during pandemic times) is something he is proud of achieving. I am still discovering how core this is to his nature. It impacts so many behaviors and decisions he makes.
Jesse likes food and he is a sloth. His dream is to control objects and computers telekinetically and have infinitely sized tummy, so he can lay down in a massage chair with food flying into his mouth with screen being in front of him flying in the air. And probably being perpetually high.
Jesse is confusing. He recently told me that I confuse him and I thought it's a good framing. He also confuses me. The way he speaks and behaves makes me feel like he is the most rational and intelligent human I know. Emotionless and effective machine, ready to dunk. And then 20 minutes later he would have attitude of a whiny little boy, cranky and upset about everything or tell me poop jokes.
Jesse likes spreadsheets. A lot. He uses them for everything and a task manager for the rest. So if you ask him to come over to see you on Friday, likely it will result in a Trello task and a calendar event. He is also really good with spreadsheets. He can explain tax system to you, help you build a financial model or make complex group decisions such as "what do we want to play tonight?".
Jesse is very tall, but you probably already know this.
Jesse is a really good engineer. But he likes JIRA, so unfortunately it's a lost cause.
Jesse is a good mediator. Whenever there is a conflict in the group he would try to make everyone feel better. He puts a lot of effort into that and he is good at it.
Jesse has good, but weird memory. It's often funny how he misremembers events and sees them in a very biased light. To the point, when I developed a pattern recognition based on the tone and levels of confidence. I think I somewhat can tell when he misremembers something with subtle, but crucial differences.
Jesse is often unhappy. It's hard for him to be long term happy and enjoy life. It's very sad, but it's true.
Jesse thinks he is smarter than everybody he interacts with. I am still butthurt by that.
Jesse is kind. It's not apparent in the beginning or maybe at all for some people, but while Jesse is really good at adopting useful skills and behaviors, his kindness is innate. He tries to hide it, but it's still visible.
